Like do you not understand that my crazy witch friend just died? Do you really want to fuck with their ghost right now? Because they will fuck you up. You can lock yourself into your damn room and they can still get to you. You’re so fucked, dude. You’re so fucked.
TW: rape, accusations of trans misogyny: I really didn’t want to make this post
But now that people are anonymously (dude I know it’s you, Aimee) messaging my girlfriend and trying to dissuade her from being with me, I guess I have to. Great.
I remember when my friend had to do something similar and said, “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to have to defend myself when I did nothing wrong. And I don’t want to have to disclose personal and embarrassing information to do this.” I feel that so hard right now.
In December of 2011, I was raped. I barely knew her; we had mutual friends who encouraged me to hang out with her. She manipulated me into having sex with her. She coerced me using politics. She’s trans, I’m cis, and when it looked like I was resisting her advances she made it very clear to me that it was because I was transphobic and fucked up. Never mind that she was not the first trans lady I had been with; when I even brought that up she talked right over me and kept touching me. Finally, I gave in. I let her do whatever she wanted to me, including crossing a couple of hard limits for me. I completely disassociated during it. That’s never happened to me before. Then I went home and didn’t tell anyone except my husband and my best friend for several months. I told a handful more of people eventually.
6 months later I get a message from her telling me she heard I was telling people she raped me. I told her I was not using that word for the encounter but I was considering it a gray area of consent. I told her I wasn’t mad. I told her it happened. She said,”Gus. That’s rape. I raped you. I’m so sorry.” (I have the FB transcript of this). I said I didn’t want to talk to her about it anymore.
A couple of months later a friend approached me to let me know that she was telling people that I assaulted her and that I was a chaser and lots of trans women had come to her and let her know I made thence feel disrespected and fetishized.
I have been with 18 sexual partners since I became sexually active 8 years ago. 3 of those partners have been trans women. 2 have been non binary femme gender queer folks. I have been emotionally but not sexually involved with two other trans women.
When Aimee started these rumors, I called all of my exes and asked if I had ever made them feel fetishized or disrespected and if so I was so sorry and would be willing to go through any kind of accountability process they desired. The reaction was overwhelming. Basically, they all acted like I was a bizarre creature with ten heads for even suggesting such a thing. One ex put it very poetically when she said, “Gus, if you were a chaser I wouldn’t have put it in you.”
All these women have offered to make “official” statements on my behalf but honestly I don’t want it to come to that. This has already gotten way too absurd.
Aimee Hanley is a rapist. She’s actually a fucking serial rapist, since I know for a fact that she assaulted a (trans) woman I know personally and I’ve heard rumors about several other women.
I’m not ever gonna be mad at trans women who don’t know me for being distrustful of me. I’m a cis woman who is a slutty queer: I like girls and I don’t give a fuck about birth sex assignment. I do not approach a lot of girls, mostly because I’m fat and I have learned how unreceptive people can be to my non-gorgeous advances. I especially do not approach many trans ladies because I am conscious of how marginalized people can often feel cornered and trapped during interactions like that. I know this from experience.
I swear to you all, I’m not a chaser. I actually wouldn’t even be mad if this were just a rumor by identity politicians who were suspicious that the last couple of folks I’ve dated were amab trans folks. That’s real, I guess. Be suspicious. Cis people suck and I am cis.
But this is a rumor started by my rapist. So I guess I’m done playing nice and staying quiet.
Resurrecting this blog briefly to lend support to Gus. I stand by what she is saying here. I have been hearing this story unfold from the very beginning and I remember everything from Gus’ initial reactions to the incident, to Aimee herself using the “r” word first, to my shock and disgust when I found out that Aimee had apparently flipped from admitting responsibility for her actions to trying to put the blame onto Gus.
I’ve had the opportunity to observe Gus’ conduct (up close) through a number of difficult situations (“difficult” here is a hell of an understatement, my friends) and know that she is a person of integrity and accountability, and a true friend in every sense. Folks have her back because they know she’ll have theirs.
3 days left to save Pe' Sla and just 12% of goal raised
Pe’ Sla is an area in the Black Hills of South Dakota (just west of Rapid City) that is considered by the Lakota people to be the Center and heart of everything that is. It is part of our creation story. It is a sacred place. We perform certain ceremonies at Pe’ Sla which sustain the Lakota way of life and keep the universe in harmony. This area is currently owned by the Reynolds family. They plan to auction off almost 2,000 acres on August 25, 2012 to the highest bidder. It is likely that the state of South Dakota will put a road directly through Pe’ Sla and open up this sacred place for development.
Tweet celebrities. Submit to news watch blogs. Post on Facebook. Reblog, reblog, reblog. Spread this EVERYWHERE. This cannot stand. They would never bulldoze and build a road through the Vatican. Please, respect all sacred sites. Help keep this place of worship safe!
(via notyrqueer)
(Source: dontfuckswith-andreaa, via myoldquotesyoureblogmakemevomit)
Why
So this has happened a couple times.
1. I’ve asked for no contact from someone whose behavior towards me is really inappropriate. I tell them I want this indefinitely. I make no indication that I will ever change my mind.
2. I find out that they think the arrangement is “temporary” and that if they just wait some small amount of time I’ll be OK with them talking to me/getting all up in my space again.
Like, this has happened more than once, with more than one person.
I conclude it is because:
1. Men are terrible,
2. And the men I have asked not to contact me have terrible boundaries, which is why I tried to cut them off in the first place.
New York City: Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, veterans of the Stonewall Rebellion and founders of STAR (Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries), march in the 1973 Pride Parade.
Did a bunch of dogs breakup a fight between two cats? Am I seeing this right??
Having none of that shit today.
“Ay man, y’all chill the fuck out. Y’all fucking up the party.”
the cat sitting by the tire kind of just watched and wondered if what he saw actually happened
(Source: ForGIFs.com, via littlemissmutant)
